Fall To Pieces
by natsume.hyuuga.STSE
Summary: Mikan loved Natsume since the first time she saw him. But for him, she could never be his lover. Just a friend. But what if something drastic happened to Mikan? Will things still be the same? Join Mikan into her love story! R&R! Reviews are much appreciated! For Christmas. Happy Xmas!


_A.N This is my second one-shot. So... Hope you enjoy and review! Credit goes to my best friend/ crush. Because of what happened between us made me have the inspiration to write this one shot. Some parts are true while some are not. And this is for the Christmas! Happy Xmas everyone! Review please! _

Mikan Sakura is just a normal girl. She's fifteen currently. There is a guy she love for three years. Natsume Hyuuga is the name. They started as strangers. A year when they were classmates, they did not interact at all. How do I put this? Okay, the reason for them not interacting was because they are from different world. Natsume was the cold, quiet type of guy when Mikan is cheerful and loud type of girl. But no one know. Mikan Sakura had a crush on Natsume Hyuuga. She would always keep an eye on him. Observe what he like and what he dislike. Well, no one actually ever notice it. Maybe except Natsume himself. Sometimes their eyes will met. But Mikan was always the one to break their eye contact first. She have no idea what she was afraid of. Rejection, maybe? Maybe it was because they both are the complete opposite. Their classmates like to say that they were a couple. Natsume usually just kept quiet. You could not blame him. He is just the type to ignore teases. Mikan however, was the type to keep on denying. Maybe it was because what they said was true and she did not wanted Natsume to know. She wanted to just keep that crush to herself. So eventually, her classmates found her more interesting to tease. Everytime they tease her, she would fight the urge to blush and shouted 'No! He's not my boyfriend!'. And Natsume would just watch her from afar.

But on the second year, unfortunatly, they were seperated to different class. Mikan had lost the chance to observe him. Maybe it was because of the rumor. The boy namely Natsume Hyuuga began to find the girl with the name Mikan Sakura amusing. The way her loud voice echoed through the halls whenever someone tease her, the way her face goes red when she's angry, the way she hide her hurt. A lot of things went on. He did not even notice that he was paying so much attention to the girl. Sometimes, their eyes will met. But Mikan, as usual will break the eye contact. Everytime she broke the contact, she will feel heat rushing to her face. Natsume on the other hand will just stare at her, no emotion on his face. Days past by. Mikan is getting more and more addicted to the boy, Natsume. The way his eyes shows so much sadness, the way he kept himself emotionless, the way he isolate himself, the way he is so quiet. Everything of him made Mikan get more and more curious about him. She wanted to get closer to him. She wanted to know him more. She wanted to become friends with him. She wanted to become part of his life.

Finally, one day as they were from two opposite side of the canteen and was about to walk past each other, their eyes met again. Hazel to crimson. Mikan wanted to break the contact. But for once, she could not. It was too hard. She wanted to read him through his eyes. She wanted to know why are there so much sadness. Why? She was now drowned in Natsume's eyes. When Natsume flashed her a smile before leaving, she was dumbfounded. The boy who was emotionless just smiled at her! Once again, she failed to hide her blushing. She ran back home. When she reach home, she held her chest. What was she feeling? It was as though her heart is going to jump out! Her heart is beating so fast! And her cheeks, they're burning! Gosh, she feels so happy. From that incident, you could say that she found the courage to go near him. Everyday, she would sacrifice her sleep to wake up early and wait for Natsume to arrive school. She would just follow him behind to the hall. Then, she asked her best friend, Hotaru, who is much closer to Natsume to help her get his number. She got the number. She kept it. Another incident then happened. They took the bus together and Mikan saw Natsume took out his phone. She took that as a chance. To talk to him.

"Gi...Give me!" She shouted to Natsume. Natsume gave her a puzzled face, not understanding what is she talking about.

"Gi...Give me your number!" Mikan said. Natsume just gave her a small smile and whispered a 'no'. Mikan pouted a little and Natsume raised his eyebrow in amusement.

"Well, I have your number!" Mikan annouced. Natsume's crimson eyes widened.

"Where did you get it?"

"Hotaru gave it to me!" Mikan said. Natsume chuckled. Mikan was again, shocked by his actions. Come on, the emotionless guy just chuckled!

"That... -chuckle- was my mother's number..." Natsume told Mikan. Mikan was shocked.

"What?" Mikan yelled. Again, Natsume chuckled.

"How can you do that!" Mikan said and procceed to pinch his cheeks. But Natsume caught her arm before she could even pinch him. Hazel crash into crimson again. They just stayed in that position. Natsume's hand holding her arm. His hand is so... big and warm. Mikan blushed.

"Hey.. Hey... I... reach my stop... Let... go?" Mikan whispered. She did not tear her eyes away from him. Mikan's words knocked some sense into Natsume. He let go of her arm. Mikan's face is still red as she jump off the bus. She took one last look at Natsume. His bangs covering his face. Was it just her or did he really blushed? She do not know.

She helped Natsume took his letter from the CCA teacher since they are in the same CCA. She decided to call Natsume to inform him about the letter. She dialed his mother. The line went through. But when his mother received the call, she just screamed at Natsume for not giving Mikan his own number. Natsume just cut the line off. Mikan pouted. What a mean guy! Then, she received a message.

To: Whoever you are

Look, this is my number. Do not call my mother's number and look for me. If you do that again, I'll make you taste hell. Got that? I think I know who you are. But again, tell me why you call me tomorrow at school. Not now.

From: Natsume Hyuuga.

Mikan laughed and went to sleep. Days gone by. And they began to chat. Though Natsume is still being a mean guy, Mikan love his accompany. Natsume will call her idiot, dumb and stuff but Mikan love Natsume call her that. It made her feel special. Soon, she began calling Natsume 'Nat'. Calling him a pet name made her feel special. Only she and the guys give him pet names. Natsume was always there to listen to Mikan's problem. Natsume will always use the weirdest way like teasing Mikan to make Mikan feel better. Mikan loved to ruffle Natsume's hair. But everytime she do that, Natsume will slap her hand away and glare at her. Even though Mikan's heart hurts when Natsume glared at her, she still continue to ruffle Natsume's hair. She wanted to get closer to him. She wanted him by herself. It may sound selfish but she really wanted him.

But something heartbreaking happened one day. Another girl from their class, Luna Koizumi, a really boyish girl started to ruffle Natsume's hair too. Mikan was on her way to the canteen when she saw it happening. Her eyes widened. But Natsume's reaction to Luna's made Mikan's heart break into even smaller pieces. Natsume only smiled at Luna. He did not even bother to avoid Luna's pat! Mikan was not really the type to cry. So she did not. But she really wanted to. Days past, she got one of her friend, Yuu Inchou from Natsume's class to spy on Natsume and Luna. Yuu know Mikan's feelings towards Natsume.

According to Yuu, Natsume and Luna were getting really close. And there was a time where Luna started crying. And when Yuu comforted Luna, Natsume shooted Yuu a 'thank-you' face. Yuu just smiled in return. One day, when the lesson are going on, Mikan saw Natsume ran past their classroom, with his hands over his mouth. She began to worry for him. She then learned from Yuu that Natsume actually vomited and he went back home. Mikan was very worried.

Mikan wanted to become close with Luna. She just wanted to know what happened between Luna and Natsume. As she expected, Luna and her exchanged number. They started the text each other. But something even more heart breaking is on the way.

To: Luna

Ne, Luna-chan, Natsume went home yesterday, right? And he didn't come today also! What happened to him?

From: Mikan

To: Mikan

Well, he vomited yesterday and have a little fever so he went home. I think that's why he didn't come today.

From: Luna

To:Luna

Oh... What about his homework?

From: Mikan

To: Mikan

Actually, no one helped him take it but oh well, I took it from the teacher so I'll text him later to ask him for his address. ^_^

From: Luna

The brunette's eyes widened. She got his number? He said before that he only give his number to special people! Her heart hurts again.

To: Luna

Oh... He gives you his number?

From: Mikan

To: Mikan

Of course! :3

From: Luna

Mikan's heart and head are hurting. She needs to rest.

To: Luna

Oh... Luna-chan, I'm a little tired. Good night.

From: Mikan

To:Mikan

Sure! Nighty :)

From: Luna

A day had past.

To: Mikan

OMG! I confessed! I confessed! Mikan-chan! I confessed!

From: Luna

Mikan's eyes widened. Who... did she confessed to?

To: Luna

To who?

From: Mikan

Mikan's heart was beating really fast. Who? Who? Who? _Please don't let it be Natsume!_

To: Mikan

Natsume, of course!

From: Luna

Mikan's heart broke. But she remembered that Natsume's reply is the most important one.

To: Luna

What did he say?

From: Mikan

Mikan was hoping deep down that Natsume will reject Luna. Yes, it was a selfish thought. But, she will be very heart broken if Natsume accept Luna's confession.

To: Mikan

He said that he loves me too!

From: Luna

Mikan's heart were broken to pieces. Tears threatened to fall. But she tried to act as though there's nothing wrong. Act as if she is happy for Luna.

To: Luna

OMFG! Tell me! Tell me everything!

From: Mikan

To: Mikan

-giggle- well, I told him that I like him and I waited for his reply...

From: Luna

To: Luna

Wait, did you say it to him face to face?

From: Mikan

To: Mikan

No! I wouldn't dare to! I text him. Anyway, since he did not reply me, I text him again I said: I'm sorry. I'm such a coward...

From: Luna

Mikan did not reply.

To: Mikan

Then did you know what did he say? He said: No! You're the bravest girl I ever met! I like, no, love you too! OMG! Mikan-chan, can you believe that? I'm sooooo happy now!

From: Luna

Mikan's heart was in pain. She found it difficult to breathe.

To: Luna

Really? Wow! But Luna-chan, he is not a really romantic person... I'm still happy for you though!

From: Mikan

_Lie. Lie. I told her a lie. I'm not happy for her. I'm so heart broken right now._ Mikan tried to stop her tears.

To: Mikan

Well, he can be really romantic if he wants! I'm so happy that you're happy for me! Thanks! Anyway, can you help me buy white chocolates? I wanted to give him on tomorrow, you know valentines day. Garh! I'm blushing!

From: Luna

That's it. Mikan's tears flowed freely from her eyes. She did not bother to stop them. Pain. So much pain. It hurts. Why? Why did Natsume accept? Luna seems so happy. But she is the total opposite of Luna. But she knew she had to reply Luna.

To: Luna

Well, no I can't... You see, I'm not feeling very well right now...

From: Mikan

To: Mikan

Oh... Rest well! I can make one myself for him, okay? Bye! :)

From: Luna

To: Luna

Sure. :)

From: Mikan

_Fake. Such a fake smile. I'm such a pretender. Natsume, why?_ Mikan thought as she stared at the white chocolate she made on her bed. She thrashed it. It was useless anyway, right? Days past and Natsume and Luna are always seen with each other. Natsume is always talking to Luna with a smile on his face. And he would always look at Nobara with those gentle eyes of his. If there's Natsume, there's Luna. If there's Luna, there's Natsume. Often, when Natsume and Luna went past Mikan. Mikan froze and the light in her eyes died. Natsume was a little worried about Mikan. But Mikan showed him a smile and his worry for Mikan was forgotten. He and Luna just walked past Mikan. Little did he knew, the smile was just a fake smile. Seeing them together killed Mikan little by little each day past by. The two will hug each other, make out and kiss each other sometimes. The pain Mikan felt when she witness all actions of theirs is tearing her apart. Tears will just run down Mikan's face whenever she know that Natsume is Luna's boy now. That was until the day she saw Luna flirting with another guy, Natsume by her side, his eyes showing hurt. Unconsciously, Mikan's hands clenched into a fist. How could she?

It had been a week since Luna and Natsume were seperated. Now when there's Luna, there's no Natsume. When there's Natsume, there's no Luna. Weird. No one knew what happened. Mikan wants, no, need to find out what had happened. Because the sadness lingering in Natsume's eyes deepened.

To: Luna

Ne, what happened to you and Nat?

From: Mikan

To: Mikan

I...He... I was making chocolate for him one day when he text me, saying that he only likes me a sister! Can you believe it? And right now I'm crying over and over again.

From: Luna

To: Luna

Oh... don't be too sad, I believe that he have his reasons for doing so.

From: Mikan

To: Mikan

How could he have any reasons?! A person with a cold heart like him shouln't even exist! Oh wait, he don't even have a heart!

From: Luna

Mikan clenched her fists. How dare she say that? Among everyone, she should be the one that knows that Natsume have a heart. A warm one! Can't she tell? The way that Natsume embrance her, the way that he kiss her with so much love, the way that he look at her with those gentle eyes, the way that he treat her wounds so carefully, everything. How could she say that?!

To: Luna

He have a heart! And it's a warm one! How could you say that he have no heart?! He have a soft side too! I seen it before!

From: Mikan

Luna did not reply ever since. Mikan's hatred towards Luna grew as the sadness in Natsume's eyes thickened. Mikan's heart ache for Natsume. Mikan wanted to take the pain away from Natsume. But she couldn't. Natsume became more and more emotionless. Now, even when Mikan smile at him, he would not smile back. Just keeping his stioc face on. Mikan will also cry silently at nights when she feels Natsume's pain and her own pain. It was then one day she found him under the sakura tree, crying. Mikan used her SEC (Steal, Erase, Copy) Alice, the mind reading one to find out what was Natsume thinking about.

_I'm such a cruel man. How could I? How could I make Lu__na cry at night just because of me?! What the hell, Natsume, you're such a weakling. But it's true. I could not give Luna happiness. I do missions and Persona definitely do not want me to be involve with the thing called love. He will do anything to take a__way whoever is precious to me. I could not risk Luna's life. She will be over me soon. But I do not want her to forget her love towards me! Argh, stop being a selfish man, Natsume! You have to set Luna free! _Tears ran down from both Mikan's and Natsume's face. Mikan could not take the scene anymore. She ran and hugged Natsume. _Wasn't this what I want? For Natsume and Luna to break up? Isn't this what I was looking forward to so Nat can finally be mine? If so, why is my heart aching so badly?_

"Nat! Why? Why are you always doing this? Bearing with the pain on your own... Why? What are you thinking?" Mikan shouted to Natsume as she hug him tight. It hurts her so much. To see Natsume crying for another girl. But what hurts Mikan the most was seeing Natsume so depressed but yet she could not do anything to make him feel better. Natsume hugged her back, tears still flowing from his face. They stayed in that position for quite for a long time.

"I'm fine now, Mikan." Natsume said. Mikan's heart skip a beat. It was the first time Natsume called her by her first name.

"Okay..." Mikan said as she broke the hug. "Why, Nat? Why?"

The only reply he gave was a sad smile. More tears flowed from Mikan's eyes. _He really loves her that much. If only I could stop loving him.__ If only I could, I would not feel this pain anymore. If only._

"Don't cry." Natsume said as he wipe her tears. That moment. She would remember it for the rest of her life. All she wanted, was just Natsume to finally touch her in such gentle way. She would already be sastified with that.

It was just like any other day. When the school is over and Mikan making her way back home. She went past a desert void deck. Something caught her attention as she past the void deck. A raven was pin on the wall while being beaten by three muscular teenager that was probably two years older than them. Another handsome looking boy was watching the whole scene while smiling evilly. _Natsume!_ Mikan took her handphone out and dialed for the police.

Natsume was making his way back home after the tiring day. He was suddenly surrounded by four teenagers. He looked at them, expressionless. He was wondering what was the boys buisiness. One of the boy with raven hair like him snapped his finger.

"Beat him up." And the other three followed his command. They cornered Natsume. Natsume, as a Karate black belt holder, of course, would not let them take him down so easily. But once a sentence escaped from another raven, he immediately lost his energy. If it was not for his will, he would have already fall onto the ground with just that mere sentence.

"How dare you hurt Luna?! You jerk! Now you shall taste the consequences of hurting her and letting her shed so much tears for you! Argh! As her boyfriend, I couldn't believe that you were her ex!" The raven shouted to Natsume's face.

And so, the three guys starting to beat Natsume up as they were told. Luna's boyfriend was watching the whole thing with a smirk tugging at his lips. Oh, the pleasure of seeing the person who hurt Luna was hurting. Natsume on the other hand, did not even try to defend hiself. _I'm the one at fault. I should not have dump her. I brought this upon myself. I should just let them beat me to death._

Mikan, on the other hand, was horrified by the scene in front of her. Yes, she was hiding behind a pillar while watching the whole scene. It breaks her heart to see the love of her life getting beaten up by so many people. The way Natsume was bitting his lower lips to prevent himself from groaning in pain, the way Natsume hold so much sadness in his eyes, the way that Natsume let the three guys beat the crap out of him, everything just break Mikan's heart. Finally, she could not take it anymore. She rushed in front of Natsume, hugging him. And of course, the kicks from the three guys landed on her.

Natsume was waiting for more kicks to come. But instead, he felt a pair of warm arms around him, hugging his waist. His eyes shot open. To his surprise, he saw Mikan blocking him from the attacks.

"Stop." Another command was heard.

"Little kitty, tell me why are you blocking him from the attacks." Luna's boyfriend demanded as he walked over to the now bruised Mikan. He raised her chin with one finger.

"Please, stop beating him up! I'll do anything!" Mikan said. _If I can't __be Nat's lover, at least let me protect him this time._

"Anything?" Luna's boyfriend ask with a sly smile. Mikan nodded her head roughly. His smirk went wider. Natsume, knowing that he was planning something evil, shouted, "Polka! Stop caring about me! Run!" But Mikan turned deaf ear.

"Very well. I assumed that you're a virgin?"

Mikan shuddered. She knew what was coming. But she just bite her lower lip and nodded nervously. Luna's boyfriend smirk again while he nodded his head with satisfication.

"Take her."

One of the guys pinned Mikan onto a wall while the other started giving Mikan butterfly kisses while another started removing Mikan's clothes. Tears rolled down Mikan's face. It was humilating. But still, she have to do it. It was for Natsume afterall. Natsume's eyes widened at the scene in front of him. He tried to stand up. But he is already too weak to do so. Luna's boyfriend pinned him on the floor.

"Uh-uh, you're just gonna watch."

Mikan screamed in agony as tears rolled down her eyes. Her viginity is now gone. Soon, the siren of the police achoed though the place. The four bullies dropped both Mikan and Natsume. Mikan was on the floor, naked, bleeding and crying. Natsume on the other hand, was clenching his fists, bleeding while trying to get up to comfort Mikan. They were both taken to the hospital.

The raven haired went into the ward of Mikan. Mikan was there, sitting on the hospital bed, gazing out of the window. The doctor told her that she could be discharge. But she felt like sitting there. She thought of how fast things happen. First, she was worried for Natsume, then the next second, there she was, losing her virginity. And the next second? Her virginity is gone. Tears rolled down her face. Was it worth it? She could not help but to think. She knew that this incident will forever haunt her in her dreams. She knew that this incident will forever leave a scar in her heart and memory. She knew that she could not face it all. But then, she thought, that was Natsume that she was saving. The boy she love for 3 years. The boy she still love even though he don't love her back. The heart of Natsume ached. There, in front of him, stood the girl who gave up the most precious thing of hers just to save him. He could have protected her. Not the other way round. And there he was, uselessly on the ground, watching Mikan's virginity being taken away. He took a deep breathe as he walk towards the brunette.

"Mikan." He whispered. Mikan looked up at him. And that was when it hitted him. Hard. There, the eyes of Mikan were hollow, lifeless. The light that used to be there was gone. And emptiness replaced it. And he knew immediately. It was his fault. For once in his life, he felt useless. Mikan just stared at him, not saying anything. Just simply staring at him with those lifeless eyes. If it was the usual, Mikan would greet him with a smile and say 'hi, Natsume-kun' but now, no more greetings, no more smile. Nothing.

"Are you alright?" Natsume asked Mikan. That one sentence of him made the emotions that Mikan is holding in flow out.

"Alright?! Do you think that I'm alright?! Which girl in hell will feel alright after their virginity is gone?! Huh?!" Mikan screamed at Natsume. This time, anger was visible in her eyes. Natsume was shocked. But guiltness soon crept over him.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to." Mikan apologised after she realised what she had done. Natsume shook his head. It had been hard on her. He figured out that he have to take responsibility about what had happened to Mikan.

"Mikan. Be my girlfriend." Even if Mikan is lifeless now, his words shocked her. The boy she love for three years is finally asking her out! She looked at him with shocked eyes. He smiled a little. Her heart melted. His smiles. They were rare. But she realised that his tone did not have any hint of affection. She decieded to find out the truth. Even if the truth will hurt her. Badly.

"Why?" She whispered.

"I'm the one who caused all this things to happen. So I should take the responsibility." He said. His words, once again, made her heart broke to pieces. Just like before, she could not keep her emotions in.

"Nat, I don't want you to take the responsibility up, okay? I save you on my own accord. I gave up my virginity on my own accord. You have nothing to do with it. I don't want you to become my boyfriend if you don't love me. I want you to haveyour happiness. And… I save you because… I love you for three years. More than a friend. Even if you won't love me back, I'll still love you. Bye Natsume. Hope you can find your happiness soon. With some other girls or Luna. Bye Natsume." Mikan said as tears fell from her eyes. While Natsume was shocked from her sudden confession, she took her bag and dashed out of the hospital.

All that was left were Natsume and the silence of his surrounding. Natsume leaned on the wall for support. He have completely no idea what he felt at that moment. But he was sure that he felt pain.

And once and for all, she had fallen into pieces.

_A.N So yup, I decided to end it here. Do review to tell me what do you think about this one-shot! And do tell me if you want a sequel or want to me to make this chaptered!_


End file.
